Waiting- what it means for an Indian cinema journalist

This friday, a very interesting film is up for release here. Waiting- starring Naseeruddin Shah and Kalki Koechlin, has a beautiful, humane story at its heart about two people waiting for their better halves to recover in a hospital.

Not so, the saga of waiting for film journalists in India, at least. It’s a mix of tragedy, comedy and the kind of frustration that makes you want to hit a stranger on the street, or spray ink on the ‘star’s face (when the wait finally gets over). Here are a few instances of waiting that I shall carry to my grave.

1. While ‘waiting’ for a Khan to turn up for a big ticket news channel interview, in a mosquito infested movie studio, we struck at the blood suckers and delved deep into Ayurvedic classification of human beings. This had been a pastime during a day of banishment by our glowering, angry editor for ‘being entertainment’ in the newsroom. Nupur from my team and I figured out that indeed, we were Pitta people (attuned towards acidity. No surprises there!).

So while the Khan smelled up a little happiness, my fellow broadcast journalists and I googled crucial information on ‘Vata, Pitta, Kapha’ doshas (types) and wondered- which one is this particular star?


2. While ‘waiting’ for a Bollywood superstar to return from a quick trip behind bars, we defended ourselves against brazen leering, jeering and near molestation by his gazillion fans amongst the unwashed masses. A young, very pretty cub reporter, who usually anchored shows in slinky dresses, turned up looking sombre for breaking news, in a white shirt perfectly tucked into her trousers. Her slim waistline made a super senior entertainment reporter and me imagine a situation where for one living day of our lives, we would actually be adipose free to tuck in a white shirt in a pair of snug blue jeans and look divine. We would feel like country music stars too. Reminiscing took a surreal turn as the sun shone high in the sky.

We were shaken out of our reverie only when the superstar’s SUV and entourage returned to welcome him home; actually, that day, my short tore from the pushing and shoving of the masses.

3. While ‘waiting’ for a superstar notorious about his unpunctual habits around interviews, I chatted up an intern from a quasi- foreign publication. Starry eyed and totally cool with waiting for half a day to glimpse the movie star, this young lad made a confession about hiring out an escort to lose his virginity. Without waiting for a reaction from me, he actually gave me a detailed, step by step analysis of hiring her and the latter bit. I gulped down some warm cola and listened. For once, a wait had given me a first hand account of an experience that can easily become part of seriously popular fiction.

4. While ‘waiting’ for a nonagenarian cinema legend on his birthday, early in the morning, fellow journalists and I arrived armed with cakes. That’s the norm with this legend. Our stomachs though gurgled with hunger thanks to an early start and no breakfast. Finally, when the living legend woke up and spruced up for his media meet, all four cakes were laid out in front of him. He took a shining to the black forest one that I had bought from a posh Bandra bakery. A colleague from a Hindi news channel wasn’t so fortunate- the company’s production team had bought a hideous pink cake for her to bring along. Cutting these cakes is captured on camera. When the time came to slice through them all and pose, the living legend immediately sprung for mine. He had to be cajoled by his beautiful wife to cut the rest. After three cakes, he threw an infantile tantrum, refusing to cut the pink one and actually admonishing the hapless reporter who brought it.

On that day, I woke up to the fact that old age does make us revert back to childhood. After all, he really was upset about the cake not being up to his standards.